1. |
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Your melons, so firm and so round,
Look to each weigh a pound.
Can I touch them? Whoa don't slap me!
I meant those of the fruit variety!
Your fruits of labour, so damn fine,
I want to make them mine mine mine
Large and sweet, I'll swear I'll be discreet,
Cause your melons are the ultimate treat.
Your melons and their girth,
Will be my favourite thing until I leave this earth.
Your big round fruit, circular as frisbees,
Candy to the eyes, they were grown to please.
They just wanna make me shout,
So nice and juicy, can't go without,
Damn girl, you're so fruity,
Your melons greatly complement your booty.
I wanna stick my trowel in your soil,
Make my own melons over which I can toil,
Make the earth nice and moist now,
Stick it in, here I'll show you how.
Your melons and their girth,
Will be my favourite thing until I leave this earth.
Your big round fruit, circular as frisbees,
Candy to the eyes, they were grown to please.
Your melons and their girth,
Will be my favourite thing until I leave this earth.
Your big round fruit, circular as frisbees,
Candy to the eyes, they were grown to please.
Your melons must be honeydew,
Cause I'm staring at them when I should be looking at you.
I wanna grab them, that is true,
But I know that's an action I would later rue.
I see your melons ripe on the vine,
So good they send shivers up my spine.
They're delicious, simply divine,
Something something interior design!
Your melons and their girth,
Will be my favourite thing until I leave this earth.
Your big round fruit, circular as frisbees,
Candy to the eyes, they were grown to please.
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2. |
Sandwich Slayer
02:52
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I'll tell you about a man I once knew,
He murdered sandwiches I tell you it's true!
Slew them as they slept, slew them to their face,
He had a grudge against the sandwich race
I'll tell you how he'd kill, tell you how he'd slay,
Tell you how he killed sandwiches every single day
Didn't use a knife, didn't use a gun,
He used his teeth to have his murderous fun!
He used his mouth with pearly whites
To kill sandwiches and take their lives
He'd bite and swallow and chew
To murder that sandwich that you once knew
Rest In Peace Sandwich Von Gee
I'll tell you his name, his name was Bryce
I must say as a person he wasn't very nice
Killing sandwiches was his favourite pastime
He found their deaths simply sublime
He was repulsive because of this
Because he found killing filled him with bliss
He'd bite bread and the filling
His favourite sport was sandwich killing
He used his mouth with pearly whites
To kill sandwiches and take their lives
He'd bite and swallow and chew
To murder that sandwich that you once knew
Rest In Peace Sandwich LaBrie
To sandwiches, he was Death,
His only good quality, he liked Opeth
He was despised everywhere
Cause he killed sandwiches and he didn't care
They called him evil, called him bad,
Somebody reckoned he was mad
To all sandwiches I say a prayer
That you don't get caught by the Sandwich Slayer
He used his mouth with pearly whites
To kill sandwiches and take their lives
He'd bite and swallow and chew
To murder that sandwich that you once knew
Rest In Peace Sandwich Sandsky
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3. |
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David's on the kitchen again,
Holding a knife as if it were a pen.
Focussing hard in his drunken state,
To carve out a cavern in my best rated
Carrot.
He digs away at the flesh,
Of what used to be my most fresh,
The unsavoury intent of this exercise,
Ultimately could bring his demise!
Why oh why must carrots die?
Why oh why must you be so wry?
Why must you mutilate my vegetable? (To feel pleasurable?!)
Why oh why must you be high?
Why oh why must you deny?
Carrots are designed to be eaten!
You've had some spirits and beer,
Now your intent is filling us with fear,
I think you should sit down for a while,
And I'll remove this marijuana pile.
You need to think about your acts
You need to face the facts,
You're a crazy crazy man and how could you think
Of mutilating carrots now?
Why oh why must carrots die?
Why oh why must you be so wry?
Why must you mutilate my vegetable? (To feel pleasurable?!)
Why oh why must you be high?
Why oh why must you deny?
Carrots are designed to be eaten!
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4. |
Word To Your Yiros
04:58
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Yo big man, don't give me no qualms
And don't let no hair fall off of your arms
I wanna see your posse make me a yiros
I'll buy the best for me lunch mister boss.
Come on bro, just want some chicken and pitta,
Ain't no big deal, why you bein' so bitter?
Let's add some lettuce, tomato and garlic sauce
Yeah this yiros is the ultimate first course!
Yo yiros, yo yo yiros, yo yiros, yo yo yiros!
I want a five star yiros just whip it up,
With lamb and chicken and coke in a cup
Take a sacred sip and honour this food,
Good god damn, it just tastes so good!
Don't give me no jive about rice teriyaki
Strap on ya skates and roll that souvlaki
A yiros to go, so don't make it slow
I'm watchin' ya man and so is ma bro.
Bread, meat, tomato, don't put no potato
And some lettuce so fine it could be made into wine,
Chuck it all together, wrap it in paper
Whoa steady man don't light it with a taper.
"Yo C Dizzle, whatcha got boss?"
Yo ma homie it's delicious yiros
"For rizzle ma shizzle?" I ain't yizzlin' ya nizzle
"I was gonna get chips but now I'mma some o' that frizzle!"
Yo yiros, yo yo yiros, yo yiros, yo yo yiros!
I want a five star yiros just whip it up,
With lamb and chicken and coke in a cup
Take a sacred sip and honour this food,
Good god damn, it just tastes so good!
Don't give me no jive about rice teriyaki
Strap on ya skates and roll that souvlaki
A yiros to go, so don't make it slow
I'm watchin' ya man and so is ma bro.
Now, let's chuck some beef into the mix,
Hit inferiority for a six,
Don't contaminate my food with your arm hair,
Keep ya fuckin' follicles outta there!
One more thing before I go away,
Give me some Coke to make it a partay!
Yo, I think now has come the time
For me to finally end this rhyme.
Yo yiros, yo yo yiros, yo yiros, yo yo yiros!
I want a five star yiros just whip it up,
With lamb and chicken and coke in a cup
Take a sacred sip and honour this food,
Good god damn, it just tastes so good!
Don't give me no jive about rice teriyaki
Strap on ya skates and roll that souvlaki
A yiros to go, so don't make it slow
I'm watchin' ya man and so is ma bro!
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5. |
Sandwich Cookie
04:17
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One, Two, One Two Three Four!
There's two people on either side of me,
I think they're getting a little bit frisky!
What can I do? Well I think
IT'S SANDWICH COOKIE TIME!
They're the biscuit, I am the cream
It's like a delicious sandwich cookie dream
I've gotta do this more often,
Man I'm so happy pants!
Sandwich cookie girls look away,
This is starting to get a bit gay,
Just like a delcious Oreo,
I dearly love this thrusting so!
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
NOOOOOM
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The Prophets of Impending Doom Adelaide, Australia
The Prophets of Impending Doom are possibly the only ska band to ever feature a dedicated cowbellist. Combine this extra cowbell with a four-piece harmonic horn section, an awesome-as-fuck rhythm section laying down the craziest danciest beats this side of the Black Stump, and a live show more energetic than any you've seen before, and you have us - your new favourite SA ska octet! ... more
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